Well, I had some free time today, so I decided the hell with it, let's take a walk down to the mall and see if I can check one out. Fortunately they had one in stock.
On first impression (sitting there in the case), it looks
enormous, much more like a Hublot-ed Autavia than the elegant 2446 it takes its design cues from. On the wrist, that impression is confirmed, but not in the way you'd expect - the front view is balanced diameter-wise, as you can see above; the thickness of the bezel really isn't bad as I originally feared. However - there's a strange depth to the watch. I think they actually placed the bezel
above the dial, rather than around the crystal and dial as on a Speedmaster. The effect is revolting, like looking at the dial through a porthole. It feels as though the dial is about a yard / meter below the crystal through which you're looking at it.
The unfortunate effect of that is to visually and tangibly underline, in bold, italic font:
this watch is thick. It just...sits there on your wrist, something that you've clearly stuck onto yourself - rather than molding to your arm and becoming a part of you:
For comparison, here is a Speedmaster:
I was unfortunately not able to try out the chronograph functions or anything like that, since it was still wrapped up in its plastic shipping protection, and I really still would like to play with one for a minute or two to get a feel for the Heuer-02 movement. Ultimately it doesn't matter much though - I really couldn't get this thing off my wrist fast enough. This is an "Autavia" in name only, made for the Alec Monopoly / Miami crowd that TAG has decided is its core market nowadays; I just find it repulsive.
There was one pleasant surprise though, which was the titanium Heuer-02T tourbillon. (Not in the looks department though! It's still one of the ugliest things I've ever seen in person, and I expect I'll have nightmares about it for a few nights) It was beautifully light-weight though, surprising given its dimensions and mass-produced movement. I've owned and/or handled a number of titanium watches and chronographs, and most were just barely perceptibly lighter than their steel counterparts. This one was really impressively light and at least weight-wise, feels like it would disappear on the wrist.
Hopefully TAG's design team discontinues their thrice-daily HGH dosing and realizes that the trend is currently moving towards smaller, slimmer, classically-designed watches again, because there really is some quality work being done on the engineering side.